Writers' block

So here's the deal...I have never had writers' block. Pretty much ever. I can always get the words to come together.

This isn't one of those "humblebrags." It's just a fact. I can always write.

My problem is writing what I am supposed to be writing. Or even getting my ass in the chair to write.

I've always loved writing. I've often surrounded myself with writers, took every writing course I could, even knocked out a couple of book length manuscripts, and I've managed to be paid a time or two for my writing. But I've never made a living doing it, because I lack the necessary discipline to actually write what I am supposed to be writing. If I have an article due, I knock out a poem. If I need to write a research paper, I write a short story. I want to write a script, I write a Facebook post. On and on.

I'm good at procrastination. On the rare occasion where everything comes together and I feel like writing what I am supposed to, well, that shit don't pay. So I can't win. I write for myself, and only myself. Sometimes I like that others come along for the ride, but I am my own audience. Perhaps this is a bit narcissistic, but the fact remains that the stuff I enjoy writing isn't the stuff that sells. Or perhaps I just suck at writing or am too lazy to seek out consistent publication. I don't think it's fear of rejection, but then I've never really braved the slush piles. Almost everything I've ever written for money was commissioned or was something I'd already written for fun.

I've been paid for book reviews, and CD reviews, and I once had a paid gig with AOL's "Digital Cities" division. I pretty much hated every bit of that writing. I hate writing to a deadline, and I hate non-fiction or confessional style writing, so I was glad to leave that stuff behind. Besides, $30 and a free CD was never going to keep the lights on.

Supposedly some dumbass once said something like, "Let what you love become your job, and you'll never work a day in your life." I say if you turn your passions into a job the things you love will become work.

I doubt if I'll ever stop writing, but I also am fairly certain I'll never do it as my primary source of income. That's fine by me as well. Everyone needs a hobby.

• Christopher

P.S. If you like, you can read some of my older writing on fervorflower.com or on jackassletters.com. I plan to spin up some other writing projects soon. I'll be sure to tell you about them here. Until then, you can buy my book!

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I'm my own man.